Guess I need to add an update. Mark and I left on our camping trip the day after my father's funeral. At first we were going to cancel but then decided that we wouldn't be solving anything if we did. My family that came in for the funeral left the day after. My step mom's daughter planned on staying with her so there was no reason for us not to go.
Our new favorite camp spot is only 30 minutes from our house so if I was needed I could be back under an hour. It turned out to be a good plan. All the family came out two days after we setup camp and we had a cookout and it was nice to be able to spend time with each other without having others watching to see 'how we were doing'. During the following week I realized that I should have went ahead and gone home after the weekend. We wound up staying 11 days and Mark drove to work from the lake. I found that the longer I stayed the more difficulty I had facing going home. A date was set as to when we would head home and we stuck to it.
So...now I'm home and undecided on what I'm going to do now. So many decisions during the past years was based on the health of Mark and I's fathers that now they are both gone it's as if I don't have a focus. Right now the pressure of making a decision is more than I can deal with. Therefore I won't.
The pictures our from our trip, can't wait for the next one. For now I'm going to head to another favorite little lake of mine that's within about 20 minutes just because I can. No camping this time but maybe I'll find some serenity.